The Search for Health, Wealth, and Happiness

Finally…another milestone!

I haven’t posted on here in a while…it’s been a crazy busy summer. I finally found a reason to come back with some great news! I hit the 25lbs lost mark!! It’s been a long time coming but it feels great! Now that falls back, it’s time to regroup and get refocused. More success is yet to come! :)

Interesting. Definitely worth considering when thinking of giving up!!

Interesting. Definitely worth considering when thinking of giving up!!

Stuck in a rut

It’s been a rough couple of weeks and I feel like a burden on those around me, so I feel like it is time for another blog. The month of April hated me. I had surgery to remove some sebaceous cysts on the 10th. While I was out healing, my employer decided that they could do without me and eliminated my position upon my return. I was blindsided and devestated. All I could do was sob. I bent over backwards to make myself useful to the company and they choose the minute I come back from surgery to hit me with “your last day is the 26th, your position has been eliminated.” 

I didn’t sob because I loved my job. I sobbed because I would miss coming to work every day and being a part of something. I dearly loved everyone I worked with….except for the fact that not a one of them could do anything for me upon my return from surgery. Well I guess they did give me one thing….my lay off. That’s why I chose to abruptly end my employment, so they didn’t even have a chance of attempting some half assed shindig. I wanted nothing from the people I had given so much to. 

I’m so screwed financially. I bought a new car in Novemeber and have student loans knocking down my door. My parents had a high expected family contribution so I have a lot of private loans that WILL NOT put my loans in deferement even though I lost my f***ing job. This economy is TERRRRRIBLE. 

Besides being bombarded with all that, my body decides to revolt and give me shingles. For those who don’t know, Shingles is pretty much Chicken Pox to the max. It’s very painful, and causes a lot of burning and itching. It’s driving me absolutely insane. There isn’t a moment that goes by where I don’t want to cry or gnaw my arm off. It started off on my shoulder and has spread to my left upper back. It takes several weeks to go away and there is no cure but time. Please kill me now. I’m so over it. 

Ok, I’m not suicidal but I’m getting to my wits end. Something has to go right in my life or I will do something drastic….like gnaw my arm off or buy a one way ticket with the 2 cents I have and never look back. I’ll go be a bum eating out of garbage cans in Hawaii. That seems pretty sweet. College grad can’t get a job to save her life resorts to eating out of garbage cans. 

I know I’m being a total Debbie Downer but I have to get these kind of thoughts out becuse that is most likely why I got shingles in the first place. The chicken pox virus lays dormant in everyone who has had it just waiting for your immune system to get stressed and crash so it can rear it’s ugly head. And that’s what happened to me. 

I feel like I am never good enough for this fricken job market. Everything remotely environmental requires 10 years of experience in the field. Unless you count “Environmental Technician”…which is a fancy way of saying janitor. Sorry, but I didn’t spend $50000 to get a Bachelor’s degree so I could be a janitor. All I want is the chance to prove that I am a hard worker. Just because I didn’t graduate with a high GPA doesn’t mean I am a horrible employee. I have a very good work ethic that I don’t see in many people these days. I’m amazed at the slackers that somehow get hired. I don’t know what I have to do to get a job. My mind is completely boggled. I guess I will have to keep plugging away, hoping any full-time tolerable position can come my way so I can be more financially secure. I was treading water with my bills while I was working, now I feel like my feet gave out. So much for health, wealth and happiness. Wallet woes lead to bad eating habits…leads to a very unhappy Katie. 

Somehow, I will get through this. Somehow.

I had a weird out of body experience this morning. Well, not really, but I can’t figure out how else to put it. As I was getting ready for work today, I was looking in the mirror and it hit me: I actually like the person I saw! Feels great to start liking what you see and realizing that I am beautiful. I deserve happiness. I deserve good things in life. Maybe someday I’ll finally be able to believe the compliments that come my way, I’m getting closer. :)

Feeling very proud! I bought this dress two years ago, assuming it would fit for my cousin’s wedding or my sister’s rehearsal dinner. It didn’t, couldnt barely zip it….I put it on today and could actually zip it all the way up! Woo hoo for progress! I’m only a little over 2 lbs away from reaching my 10% goal! :)

Feeling very proud! I bought this dress two years ago, assuming it would fit for my cousin’s wedding or my sister’s rehearsal dinner. It didn’t, couldnt barely zip it….I put it on today and could actually zip it all the way up! Woo hoo for progress! I’m only a little over 2 lbs away from reaching my 10% goal! :)

20.4 pounds down, 20.5 inches GONE! Holy moly that’s cool! :) Just thought I’d share a little positive news that brightened my morning. 

So, last week I finally hit the 20lbs lost mark. It’s been a long time coming….it’s taken me 11 weeks to lose 5 lbs…mind you, that is over holiday season with some gaining and losing mixed in there. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while….I decided to throw on the shirt from the pic that started it all to see if anything has really changed. I don’t know about you, but I think I finally see change! Everyday I look in the mirror, I start to like myself a little more each and every day. That’s the fun part about this journey. I’m learning to like me and hopefully that will allow me to open up to people, and maybe start a relationship. My weight has always held me back, I have never dated anyone. Sad to admit, being 23 going on 24. Make fun of me if you want, but I think you’re pretty sad yourself if you find joy in reading my blog just to laugh at me

Anyways, enough of the haters….I’m proud of myself. I know my supporters are too. I still have a long way to go, but I’m seeing progress not just in physical changes, but mentally too. Since the beginning, I have set aside $10 as a reward for each pound that I lose. That means I’ve got $200 to spoil myself with! By the end, I’d like to have saved a total of $1000. But all in good time…

:)

““If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.” ~Jack Dixon”
http://www.fitnessforweightloss.com/helpful-weight-loss-quotes/
ZUMBAAAAAA
This is how I’ve widdled away 17.5 inches. This is the ONLY workout that I could ever smile before, during, & after and look forward to doing. I exercise every morning around 6 or 7 am. I don’t think I would be as motivated if it was like Bob Harper harping at me to do moves I could never do or some boring walking DVDs. 
I’ve also been strengthening my back, which has done wonders for my whiplash injury from 2006. I used to have constant pain in my upper back, which I used to have to treat with muscle relaxers and naproxen. As the years went on, I grew tolerant to naproxen and I learned to just deal with it. Ever since I started using the Toning DVD (Ripped - from the Exhilarate collection), I have noticed that I don’t really have the pain anymore. It used to be a dull ache that I would do my best to ignore, now I’m pretty sure its about gone. 
It’s a big investment, about $100. But definitely worth it. I bought it back in May 2011 and haven’t regretted it a day! :)

ZUMBAAAAAA

This is how I’ve widdled away 17.5 inches. This is the ONLY workout that I could ever smile before, during, & after and look forward to doing. I exercise every morning around 6 or 7 am. I don’t think I would be as motivated if it was like Bob Harper harping at me to do moves I could never do or some boring walking DVDs. 

I’ve also been strengthening my back, which has done wonders for my whiplash injury from 2006. I used to have constant pain in my upper back, which I used to have to treat with muscle relaxers and naproxen. As the years went on, I grew tolerant to naproxen and I learned to just deal with it. Ever since I started using the Toning DVD (Ripped - from the Exhilarate collection), I have noticed that I don’t really have the pain anymore. It used to be a dull ache that I would do my best to ignore, now I’m pretty sure its about gone. 

It’s a big investment, about $100. But definitely worth it. I bought it back in May 2011 and haven’t regretted it a day! :)

Living proof

Hooray! I’ve officially lost 17.6 lbs and 17.5 inches since Labor Day! I have been quite disheartened by the scale. It’s haunted me all my life. I finally got confirmation from my mom that I’m not looking flabby anymore! Another score. The fact that I’ve lost as many inches as pounds is what keeps me motivated. I’m glad I started measuring because it’s a good way to see progress, even if the scale doesn’t show it. I’m living proof that you can go on one night of drinking and still lose weight (I lost 0.8 lbs this week, but it’s still a decrease and going in the right direction). Ha, the day after our drinking shenanigans I woke up 5 pounds lighter (and no, I did not vomit thanks). I know this is not always going to occur but it’s nice to be able to do it and still have positive results! :)

I’m very excited to be nearing my 10% Goal and my previous starting weight on a prior program!